Happy New Year! Countdown is Back

Posted on January 04, 2012 in Countdown
Michele Bachmann apparently has spiritual powers we can’t quite fathom. Over the summer, she predicted that “a curse [will come] into play” if the US backs away from unreserved support for Israel. A couple of days ago, she noted that the polls that have her pretty far behind in Iowa meant nothing, saying “I think Tuesday night people are going to see a miracle.” A miracle, huh? So what was the actual result? She came in 6th in a 7-way race, beating only the guy who doesn’t get recognized when he goes shopping at a Trader Joe’s near Washington. Having seemingly come to terms with the fact that God isn’t intervening in the election on her behalf, she withdrew from the race today.
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It’s the Final “Countdown” (of the year)

Posted on December 21, 2011 in Countdown
If you’re not playing “the final countdown” in the background, you should be, because it’s the final Countdown (of the year). Don’t worry, we’ll be back after the Holidays, but you gotta hear the stories closing this year out
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The Virtual Uprising

Posted on December 14, 2011 in Countdown
Doesn’t it sometimes feel like there is an inside bet among candidates over who can get away with saying the most outrageous thing this election season? If there is such a bet, Gingrich may very well have just won it.
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America’s Gain, Countdown’s Loss

Posted on December 06, 2011 in Countdown
For those who would like exclusive footage of how we (the Countdown team) took it here at the office when we first heard of Cain’s decision to quit, click here.
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Read at Your Own Risk

Posted on November 29, 2011 in Countdown

Worse Than We Thought

Posted on November 23, 2011 in Countdown
Every week, we reach the conclusion that we’ve seen the full extent of Herman Cain’s ridiculousness, and every week he proves us wrong.
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You Can’t Make This Stuff Up!

Posted on November 16, 2011 in Countdown
It may be hard to believe at this point, but we promise that Herman Cain is not being paid by the Countdown team to provide us with material; he really is behaving this absurdly entirely on his own (pinky swear).
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When Politics Malfunction

Posted on November 08, 2011 in Countdown
President Perry’s solution to illegal immigration will be to personally patrol the border in his pickup truck
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Taking Madness to the Next Level

Posted on November 01, 2011 in Countdown
Herman Cain is a no-nonsense kind of guy. He doesn’t believe in mythical beings like... the Palestinian people?
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Have They Learned Nothing?

Posted on October 25, 2011 in Countdown
Because Bashar is popular, Obama ruined the Arab Spring, and Cain knows everything.
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