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Wednesday January 04, 2012

Happy New Year! Countdown is Back

Michele Bachmann apparently has spiritual powers we can’t quite fathom. Over the summer, she predicted that “a curse [will come] into play” if the US backs away from unreserved support for Israel. A couple of days ago, she noted that the polls that have her pretty far behind in Iowa meant nothing, saying “I think Tuesday night people are going to see a miracle.” A miracle, huh? So what was the actual result? She came in 6th in a 7-way race, beating only the guy who doesn’t get recognized when he goes shopping at a Trader Joe’s near Washington. Having seemingly come to terms with the fact that God isn’t intervening in the election on her behalf, she withdrew from the race today. Read More »

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Wednesday December 21, 2011

It’s the Final “Countdown” (of the year)

If you’re not playing “the final countdown” in the background, you should be, because it’s the final Countdown (of the year). Don’t worry, we’ll be back after the Holidays, but you gotta hear the stories closing this year out Read More »

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Wednesday December 14, 2011

The Virtual Uprising

Doesn’t it sometimes feel like there is an inside bet among candidates over who can get away with saying the most outrageous thing this election season? If there is such a bet, Gingrich may very well have just won it. Read More »

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Tuesday December 06, 2011

America’s Gain, Countdown’s Loss

For those who would like exclusive footage of how we (the Countdown team) took it here at the office when we first heard of Cain’s decision to quit, click here. Read More »

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Tuesday November 29, 2011

Read at Your Own Risk

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Wednesday November 23, 2011

Worse Than We Thought

Every week, we reach the conclusion that we’ve seen the full extent of Herman Cain’s ridiculousness, and every week he proves us wrong. Read More »

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Wednesday November 16, 2011

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up!

It may be hard to believe at this point, but we promise that Herman Cain is not being paid by the Countdown team to provide us with material; he really is behaving this absurdly entirely on his own (pinky swear).  Read More »

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Tuesday November 08, 2011

When Politics Malfunction

President Perry’s solution to illegal immigration will be to personally patrol the border in his pickup truck Read More »

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Tuesday November 01, 2011

Taking Madness to the Next Level

Herman Cain is a no-nonsense kind of guy. He doesn’t believe in mythical beings like... the Palestinian people?  Read More »

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Tuesday October 25, 2011

Have They Learned Nothing?

Because Bashar is popular, Obama ruined the Arab Spring, and Cain knows everything. Read More »

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Tuesday October 18, 2011

Countdown: Playing Ball Against the Wall

From Tahrir Square to Wall Street, politicians demagogues and street beats  Read More »

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Thursday October 13, 2011

Countdown: Grab Your Joystick, It’s Campaign Season

The Huffington Post suggests there is a good chance Herman Cain got his "999" tax plan from a video game. Let’s hope none of the candidates are playing Mortal Kombat when they’re trying to decide which interrogation techniques are appropriate for detainees. Read More »

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Wednesday October 05, 2011

Countdown: Vol. 10, No. 17

Joe Lieberman (I-CT) just became the first U.S. Senator to call for a no-fly zone over Syria. What makes this proposition complicated is that a no-fly zone would have to entail “attacks on Syrian military assets” in order to make the measure enforceable. This comes only a day after media reports indicated that the Syrian government had warned it would respond to any foreign military action against it with “hundreds of rockets and missiles” on major Israeli cities, including Tel Aviv. Read More »

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Wednesday September 28, 2011

Countdown: Vol. 10, No. 16

Bluntness is a common condition among former politicians, and President Clinton seems to have caught this particular strain of it from President Carter. Current Politicians who are busy worrying about reelection are not susceptible to this strain. Read More »

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Tuesday September 20, 2011

Countdown: Vol. 10, No. 15

With an approval rating of 12%, maybe Congress feels it doesn’t have any credibility to squander in the first place, but as AAI President Jim Zogby noted recently, the US cannot afford to take yet another hit in Arab public opinion after having vetoed the settlements resolution in the midst of the Arab spring. Read More »

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Monday September 19, 2011

Countdown: Vol. 10, No. 14

Huntsman has this strange idea that doing what one thinks is best for one’s country is good enough, and that ideological recalcitrance & stubborn observance of absolute/black and white doctrines isn’t necessarily the best way to go about running a country. Can you imagine what our politics would be like of more people signed on to this kind of governing agility? Things just might get done. Scary stuff! Read More »

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Wednesday September 07, 2011

Countdown: Vol. 10, No. 13

These 4 people constitute “everyone” about as much as the “Emergency Committee for Israel” is responding to an “emergency.” Very convincing stuff! Read More »

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Wednesday August 31, 2011

Countdown: Vol. 10, No. 12

Powell was quick to deliver a view-worthy rebuttal to Cheney’s “cheap shots.” It’s no Palin-Rove squabble, but it might get more interesting. Read More »

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Tuesday August 23, 2011

Countdown: Vol. 10, No. 11

When the House Ethics Committee barred members of Congress from attending Glenn Beck’s nutty rally in Jerusalem (wouldn’t that make for a nice official title?), Beck was furious with John Boehner and the Republican party... Read More »

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Tuesday August 16, 2011

Countdown: Vol. 10, No. 10

It is not yet clear whether it is Perry (who doesn't mind hanging out with people who want to strip Muslims of their citizenship) or Perry (who is comfortable noting the contributions of Muslim scholars and scientists) who will lead on the campaign trail. Read More »

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