Posted on January 04, 2012 in Countdown

 

Romney Narrowly Takes Iowa

Yup, the man who predicted “we’re gonna win this thing” won this thing last night, but very narrowly. Romney beat Santorum by only 8 votes (we’ll wait a moment for you to reflect on how narrow that is. Done? Ok, moving on…). While his victory is razor-thin, it’s still quite the accomplishment given the state’s conservative evangelical base and Romney’s relatively “moderate” placement on the candidates’ spectrum. Despite Romney’s victory, Santorum is getting quite a bit of attention for having gotten this close, despite being financially disadvantaged and virtually nowhere in the polls just a few weeks ago. As for Rick Perry, it looks like he’s quitting the race after a poor performance. Oh wait, no he isn’t. Someone should tell his campaign.

Scary Second

Nothing warms the heart like watching the sudden rise of a man who openly calls for the profiling of Muslims at airports, and who’s eager to bomb Iran. That’s right, that’s our good friend Rick Santorum. A few years ago, Santorum was “grateful for the opportunity to speak” at David Horowitz’s notoriously anti-Muslim “Islamofascism Awareness Week.” Speaking about welfare yesterday (you may want to sit down for this and make sure there aren’t sharp objects around you), Santorum said: "I don't want to make black people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money.” That’s the surprise star of last night. With him in the spotlight, the debates should be a nice little mixture of pain and amusement moving forward.

Interesting Third

While Romney was the winner and Santorum was the man of the night, you don’t want to forget who came in third: Ron Paul. Paul speaks bluntly about the lies and incitement for a war with Iran, about the infringements on our civil liberties, the contemptibility of torture and the ineffectiveness of racial and religious profiling. Yes, we know, it really is interesting that Iowa produced polar opposites in 2nd and 3rd place. Still doubting how entertaining the debates will be?

Prayers Not Answered

Michele Bachmann apparently has spiritual powers we can’t quite fathom. Over the summer, she predicted that “a curse [will come] into play” if the US backs away from unreserved support for Israel. A couple of days ago, she noted that the polls that have her pretty far behind in Iowa meant nothing, saying “I think Tuesday night people are going to see a miracle.” A miracle, huh? So what was the actual result? She came in 6th in a 7-way race, beating only the guy who doesn’t get recognized when he goes shopping at a Trader Joe’s near Washington. Having seemingly come to terms with the fact that God isn’t intervening in the election on her behalf, she withdrew from the race today.

Unhappy Gingrich Takes Jabs

While happy with Santorum’s strong showing, Gingrich is mad over his own poor performance, blaming it on Mitt Romney’s attack ads. Taking aim at the former governor, Gingrich described Romney as a “Massachusetts moderate who, in fact, is pretty good at managing the decay.” He also took aim at Paul, saying his foreign policy positions were dangerous to the survival of the United States. Paul responded by calling Gingrich a “Chicken Hawk,” saying he has no business talking about danger when he wants to send other people into harm’s way while he himself avoided military service during the Vietnam War. Seriously, when is the next debate? We’re ready for some fireworks!

The Man who Takes Your Candy Then Gives You Ice-Cream

Of course, you can’t help but feel good about the Obama Administration’s $55 million contribution to UNRWA to help Palestinian refugees. But that’s not quite how we felt a few days before, when President Obama decided to mark the turn of the year by signing the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) of 2012. That’s the bill that allows for U.S. citizens who are merely suspected of terrorism to be placed in indefinite military detention. Like how we’re leading by example as the freest country in the world? The slightly comforting news is, efforts are underway in Congress to make sure American citizens on U.S. soil are exempt from possible indefinite military detention, but we’ll see how those efforts go. In the meantime, we just want to say thanks a lot, Mr. President. Happy New Year to you too.

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