Ever More Surreal

Posted on February 22, 2012
But don’t worry; Santorum’s press secretary Alice Stewart explained that this was all a misunderstanding: Santorum wasn’t attacking the President’s faith, just his “radical Islamic policies.” Oh, thank God it’s just his radical Islamism; for a second there it sounded like Santorum was questioning the President’s faith. Stewart later said she misspoke and was actually trying to say “radical environmental policies.” Nicely done, Ms. Stewart, nicely done! If you ever find yourself in trouble and in need of damage-control, you know who to hire. “Your honor, my client wasn’t trespassing through his neighbor’s backyard, he was just trying to burn his house down.”
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Where Is The Love?

Posted on February 14, 2012
Whether you’re upset today because you hate participating in the commercial industry of love, or because can’t think of an original Valentine’s gift (heart-shaped chocolate box is just fine), or because the world is reminding you that nobody loves you (don’t believe it, we’re sure someone does), today still means something very different to you than it does for Bahrain.
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Still Looking for Sensibility

Posted on February 09, 2012
Health-warning: don’t play drinking games with Islamophobic references at CPAC (we’re just guessing it’ll be dangerous).
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Getting a Little Out of Hand

Posted on January 31, 2012
The consequences were tragic: immediately following Santorum’s remarks, over a billion and a half Muslims died of laughter. We at Countdown encourage the remaining ones (when done mourning, of course) to let Santorum know that equality is kind of a familiar concept to them, and that the God of Abraham is actually their God too.
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Bring On the Heat

Posted on January 24, 2012
A bigoted woman in a Santorum forum (rhyme not intended) told him that Obama “is an avowed Muslim [and...] has no legal right to be calling himself President.” How did Santorum respond? By saying “I’m doing my best to get him out.” We never thought we’d say this, but at least McCain had the decency, however terribly executed, to try to repudiate his crazy supporter’s remarks. Welcome, once again, to the 2012 election.
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In Case You Haven’t Noticed

Posted on January 18, 2012
We at Countdown don’t really care whether Colbert makes the ballot in South Carolina. We’re just dying for him to be allowed to join the debates. Can you imagine an exchange between Colbert and Newt? Yes, we can’t stop smirking at the thought either.
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Happy New Year! Countdown is Back

Posted on January 04, 2012
Michele Bachmann apparently has spiritual powers we can’t quite fathom. Over the summer, she predicted that “a curse [will come] into play” if the US backs away from unreserved support for Israel. A couple of days ago, she noted that the polls that have her pretty far behind in Iowa meant nothing, saying “I think Tuesday night people are going to see a miracle.” A miracle, huh? So what was the actual result? She came in 6th in a 7-way race, beating only the guy who doesn’t get recognized when he goes shopping at a Trader Joe’s near Washington. Having seemingly come to terms with the fact that God isn’t intervening in the election on her behalf, she withdrew from the race today.
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It’s the Final “Countdown” (of the year)

Posted on December 21, 2011
If you’re not playing “the final countdown” in the background, you should be, because it’s the final Countdown (of the year). Don’t worry, we’ll be back after the Holidays, but you gotta hear the stories closing this year out
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The Virtual Uprising

Posted on December 14, 2011
Doesn’t it sometimes feel like there is an inside bet among candidates over who can get away with saying the most outrageous thing this election season? If there is such a bet, Gingrich may very well have just won it.
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