So Trump is heading to the Middle East today, and his first stop will be Israel, where he will deliver a speech about Judaism, written by an anti-Semite. We’re totally kidding, that would be ridiculous! His first stop will actually be Saudi Arabia, where he will deliver a speech about Islam, written by Stephen Miller. Who is Stephen Miller, you ask? A former advocate for a campaign to stir anti-Muslim hysteria on campus, and the guy who co-authored Trump’s Muslim ban. Of course that’s the guy to write the Islam speech for Trump’s visit to the region! Come on, it’ll be thoughtful and enlightening (cough, cough). Up next: Trump will go to Israel, where Israeli-Palestinian peace will magically spread and it will be so great, like, the greatest peace you’ve ever seen. Of course, if the speech in Saudi Arabia is awesome and Israeli-Palestinian peace does come, blame only yourself for reading any sarcasm into anything we’ve said here.